I feel so busy, I spend so much time taking care of work business, I work at night, I work on the weekends and never seem to get it done. People depend on me to take care of certain things and I feel a responsibility to follow through.
Looking Forward to Retirement
Many people look forward to retirement because they don’t want to be this busy anymore, and they don’t want people intruding on their time and personal space. However, the other extreme is also true. Once some people retire they’re a little (or maybe a lot) lost without that responsibility. Especially people who have had positions of responsibility and management.
Even though I am looking forward to retirement (i.e., restarting on a new direction), I’m pretty sure that I’ll miss the people on my team and I’ll miss being relied upon. I won’t, however, miss deadlines not of my making and being in the position of having to bother others to meet those deadlines. On the other hand, I guess we’re all in it together for now and when the time comes I will be dropping out and someone else will take my place.
What will help is that I’ve been through this before. And, as much as I’d like to believe that they can’t go on without me, I know for a fact that they can and they will. And so will I. Change makes the world go round.
Being Busy After Retirement
You think that you’re not going to be busy anymore after you retire? Some of the busiest people I know are retired. What’s different about being busy when you’re working vs. being busy when you’re retired?
Here’s what will make the difference for me - I will be working on or enjoying or mostly choosing those things that I really want to be busy with. And, even more importantly, I will have time to not be busy if I so choose.
One of my favorite quotes from Eckhart Tolle is that “stillness speaks.” In other words, when we find time for stillness and we quiet our minds, we learn what it is we’re really here for and what will give us the most happiness. When we’re continuously busy, that stillness is not accessible. That is, unless we allow it.
I’ll be honest. As much as I want the stillness, allowing the time, allowing the stillness hasn’t been easy. I keep thinking that I’ll have time after I retire. That’s kind of a cop out, though. The interesting thing is as I write this I remember that when I was doing my 3 hour commute, two times a week I was in such inner turmoil that I found time every day to meditate. I know now that I was able to thrive during that time and even come out the other side a better person because I found time to quiet my mind and be still.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Jan - queenofkaos // Mar 16, 2008 at 4:58 am
I used to “price” my worth on how busy I was, especially as a stay at home mom. I find it so ironic now as I couldn’t even sleep longer than 3 hours or get through one song on the radio without being interrupted by someone needing something, but somehow felt that I needed to do more to be authentic.
I think the key is that as a sahm, I was doing what I wanted and that is the same principle as being retired - maybe that is where it all comes from.
I have to question why we feel the need to validate ourselves to others because we are living simply as we wish without a paycheck to measure our worth.
I just bought Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth book yesterday and have been listening to the Oprah webinar that he and Oprah are doing on Monday nights. (I highly recommend it!)
I am planning to get his booklet “Stillness Speaks” (if that is the correct title, Oprah mentioned it)
I find stillness and taking time to go within to be a must to remain creative now as a work at home mom and I believe it to be the basis of success - not only in quality productivity but in peace and enjoyment of life.
2 Sam Lim // Mar 16, 2008 at 9:19 am
I have not retire yet. For me it still have 25 years from now to retire. One of the biggest issues that I worry about is do I retire in wellness way or other side. However, I always thinking positive to overcome this challenge instead of face it as a problem. I really don’t know people who are retire people are busy about. However I think either is building a better relationship with friends, helping people involving in charity work or still busy in working and look for more money. The most important it was busy in a meaning live of that day. Because, we don’t know how long is our life. But, at least at that moment the life is meaningful and happiness all the day.
3 Cheryl // Mar 17, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Sam, what you say about people who are retired doing charity work or discovering meaning in their lives is what I look forward to myself. I think I need to step back before I write and think about what I’m actually trying to say. Currently, I am so busy, too busy, at a job that I don’t particularly enjoy anymore. I spend too much time away from home and I very much look forward to “being busy” doing what I choose to do for me rather than for a paycheck.
On the other hand, I also look forward to (and should even now find) time to sit quietly if even for only 10 minutes a day. I know that I am doing too much now and in fact, I am scaling some of my choices back.
Jan, being a sahm is similar and very different, too, but I sure understand what your desire to get your value from within. I’m also watching the Oprah-Eckhart series. I watched the first week on my ipod on the plane a couple of days ago. I’ll watch week 2 on my way home in a couple of days. And that is the name of the book - Stillness Speaks, but I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now!
4 JoLynn Braley // Mar 19, 2008 at 9:35 am
Hi Cheryl,
I have a book by Asha Tyson - “How I Retired at 26!” What I like about her take on “retirement” is that most people look to retirement as the time when they can really get out there and do what they want….instead of waiting until retirement, why not “retire” now and do what you want? Sure, you need an income, but why not find what you love to do now that will bring in the money?
5 Cheryl // Mar 20, 2008 at 9:09 pm
JoLynn,
I’m going to look for this book you recommend. That’s the spirit of what retirement really is now (that is compared to what it was even 30 years ago). For me, I’ve got a few more months until I can cash in on a “retirement” to help pay the bills while I pursue my what I really love to do. When I was 26 I was just beginning a new career. When I was 45 I started another. Now ten years later, I’m more than ready to create life the way I want it.
The meaning of retirement has changed and is being defined in a myriad of new ways now. I also think of Tim Ferriss’ book, The 4 Hour Workweek.
6 Robert | reason4smile // Mar 21, 2008 at 9:03 am
Hi Cheryl,
I think Eckhart also mention about enjoying the moment of now, so despite your dream on retirement, keep enjoying your working time right now =)
Hope you will find a way to balance your busyness now with the enjoyment as well.
All the best,
Robert
7 Cheryl // Mar 21, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Robert, your suggestion to be present and enjoy right now is a wonderful and welcome one. Thanks.
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