But What Now?

Retirement, because it is such a life change, can put a strain on relationships and it can enhance relationships. How many people have you heard say that their retired spouse drives them crazy?

Control Over Your Own Space

Each person needs, as Virginia Woolf so elegantly wrote about, a room of one’s own. My partner is semi-retired and I work at home most of the time. Our relationship is not hampered by this because we each have our own office to work in, or play games on the computer in, as the case may be. We
also have the luxury of being on different floors, but that surely isn’t necessary.

Even if you live with your partner or spouse in a small apartment and have only one office to share, having separate desks will give each of you your own space. I shared a desk and a computer with a partner in a past relationship and somehow we made it work, but we were also both working full time and didn’t spend as much time on the computer as we do now.

Office space may not be a big deal in your relationship, you may just need to have a quiet place in your house or apartment to be alone to read or crochet or your garden may be your place to get away to. This is entirely and individual choice and also dependent upon your current circumstances.

Control Over Your Own Time

Each person also needs to have control over their own time. Just because you’re retired and your spouse isn’t, you shouldn’t be expected to do all of the work and errands of the household. On the other hand, a retired spouse can make things easier for the still working spouse by taking on some responsibilities. This is a balancing act that you need to talk with each other about and come to agreement on. And then anytime you think your time isn’t being respected, you need to talk about it right away instead of letting it become a sore spot in your relationship.

What About Your Friends?

Relationships take time and time is what you will have more of when you are retired. You and your significant other will have more time to spend together. You will also have more time to spend with friends. How many of your friendships languished during your working years because you were too busy to get together? Personally, I am looking forward to making new friends once I retire because I let my friendships languish for so long they are pretty much non-existent now! And there are others I am lucky to get together with once a year. But this is an entirely new topic I looking forward to writing about in a future post.