I just took 3 weeks off work to recover from minor hand surgery. I put this off for a long time because I was worried about taking that much time off. I’ll qualify that more by letting you, dear readers, know that I am not one of those people who let my vacation time build up to the point where it’s use or lose. I take a 3 week vacation every year and often another 1 or 2 week vacations as well. So, fitting in 3 weeks for surgery recovery felt difficult.
In retrospect (now that I’m back at work starting today), it was not only absolutely necessary, but it was also a major eye opener. During those 3 weeks off, I took better care of myself than I have in years. I drank much less, walked every day, ate better, and generally lived in a state of ease.
I hoped I could carry this graceful living over to being back to work, but I can’t say I was terribly successful today, my first day back. My day felt frantic and ruled by responding to emails and instant messages, participating on conference calls and making lists of tasks I need to attend to in the near future. I think what makes me feel more pressured than anything else is that the organization feels so disconnected and un-”organized” that rather than getting anything done, we spin our wheels figuring out how to work with each other and planning.
This is not to say that nothing gets done, far from it, but where I could be totally focused on a project (and should be) I’m pulled in too many other directions to maintain a clear, healthy focus. Not only that, but where I might need to work with members from another team to get something done, the relationships aren’t currently in place to create a seamless work environment.
I have to say, I am working in a challenging environment right now, the entire organization has gone through a major re-invention of itself and all new people are being hired to positions that are very narrowly focused. All of these narrowly focused positions have to somehow work as a whole to provide services to an organization that is no longer local; rather it’s an enterprise spanning 36 sites on the west coast of the United States. I’m sure that eventually we’ll find our way.
However, I’m writing this on a personal level. And on a personal level, I am very much looking forward to leaving this job in 3 years. This last 3 weeks off really highlighted it for me. I felt so peaceful, relaxed and able to work on (albeit for an hour a day) projects that really matter to me. I learned that I have plenty to do when I retire, I will not miss my job at all.
And for that alone, these last 3 weeks were truly magic.
